or when your mind always goes back to steve at the end of the night, the ast one to get you off this shit and you remember how good it was and how much you love him and how drunk and happy and destructive you were together and how that was not goo either a=but its beter than this and if only you could get him to understand
when its 422 am and im up all alone and just concluded conversing with someone, though 2000 miles away and oblivious to my life, my surroundings, my circle, my torubles, i somehow feel closer to than those here.
when i want a cigarette but i know i only have one left, and what shall i do? smoke butts. walk to circle k.
when i listen to polica and it induces strength but forces me to remember sadness, and almost embrace it, for where does strength come from?
when Jason decides to move home and youve been fighting and its happening on saturday, in 4 days and you want to die but almost feel free at the same time and you are so distraught at the thought of losing the one person you have seen literally on a daily basis (minus a few days here and there) and no one understands the connection or friendship or attachement but you know this will be hard and youre not sure how you will deal with it but you know his biggest worry is how he will deal without ange and you are worried he wont even miss you because he misses her so bad you wont even cross your mind and you think this because you remember when you moved away and some connections you longed for stronger than other connections and when you roadtripped you missed jason more than anybody else and although you missed them no one came close to the longing you felt for his presence so you know that you will come second to her memory, come second to her space in thought just as it has been but you wont be mad because he loves her and despite all this you know he loves you too just not in the way you want him to and youve done a good job of letting it go trying to move on let friendships grow stand by like a brother then you for the first time since this whole shit began truly recall and miss the friendship of deathory and wonder and get the urge to text her but you know youll regret it in the morning because you still hate her and stfu craig said justin vernon remembered you and you are geting aposter and you are seeing polica next month.
